The very first phase when you fall in love is called "Oceanic Love." You know all about this phase. It can be called the "There's Only You" phase. There is all this pleasure, love and joy. The sex is marvelous, we spend all our spare time together, it's great.
In this phase we tend to think about our mate all the time. All we want to really do is be with them. We imagine we could make love to them for days. All that they do seems cute and lovable to us.
This is what psychologists call the oceanic love phase of the relationship. It lasts six months or so. It is a powerful bonding experience. During this phase we shower our partner with attention. We think about them a lot, write love notes, go out on romantic dates, tear off each others clothes and make passionate love a lot. It doesn't matter so much what we do together, just that we have plenty of time together.
Of course, this period is a favorite for all of us. We feel "merged" and at times one with our mate. We know what love is and this is it. Our love can actually feel oceanic at times.
Fortunately and unfortunately, we must move out of this phase before too long. It's gotta happen. Despite what the movies make us believe, we don't get to live happily ever after, at least not in that phase. As much as we romanticize it, it is just one stage of relationship.
While the oceanic love phase is fantastic, it can actually create some problems for us later on that can kill the relationship. It creates problems because that feeling of deep love and connection changes.
We don't understand that it is normal to move out of this phase and feel less oceanic love and merging with our partner. When this happens, we feel that something is wrong, and can start to think our lover is no longer the one for us.
In actuality, we are just moving into the next phase of love relationships, which is the me/us phase. Here we get back somewhat to our own goals and needs in life. This is important. So don't make the mistake of comparing your current relationship phase with oceanic love and you can avoid some of the pitfalls couples fall into.
In this phase we tend to think about our mate all the time. All we want to really do is be with them. We imagine we could make love to them for days. All that they do seems cute and lovable to us.
This is what psychologists call the oceanic love phase of the relationship. It lasts six months or so. It is a powerful bonding experience. During this phase we shower our partner with attention. We think about them a lot, write love notes, go out on romantic dates, tear off each others clothes and make passionate love a lot. It doesn't matter so much what we do together, just that we have plenty of time together.
Of course, this period is a favorite for all of us. We feel "merged" and at times one with our mate. We know what love is and this is it. Our love can actually feel oceanic at times.
Fortunately and unfortunately, we must move out of this phase before too long. It's gotta happen. Despite what the movies make us believe, we don't get to live happily ever after, at least not in that phase. As much as we romanticize it, it is just one stage of relationship.
While the oceanic love phase is fantastic, it can actually create some problems for us later on that can kill the relationship. It creates problems because that feeling of deep love and connection changes.
We don't understand that it is normal to move out of this phase and feel less oceanic love and merging with our partner. When this happens, we feel that something is wrong, and can start to think our lover is no longer the one for us.
In actuality, we are just moving into the next phase of love relationships, which is the me/us phase. Here we get back somewhat to our own goals and needs in life. This is important. So don't make the mistake of comparing your current relationship phase with oceanic love and you can avoid some of the pitfalls couples fall into.
About the Author:
You can get a free 7 day course to build your relationship skills and have the love you want at Intimacy And Love Advice. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can discover more about the phases of love relationships here at phases of love advice
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